A Secret About Me
This week on my Facebook personal page, I posted about something that's been on my mind for a long time. It was a secret about me that only a handful of people knew until yesterday. Please read below and do what you can to help others.
We all have secrets. Some things we choose not to share because of the hurt we feel inside. Sometimes these things shape us into the person we are. Only a handful of people know this about me.
It has shaped me into who I am. It took me many years to build the strength to use this heartache to try and make myself a better person.
It was Monday late afternoon and I can never forget the phone call I got from my friend, Travis.
(To protect the privacy of the individuals, the names I am using are NOT their real names.)
Travis: I’m not sure how to say this, but something terrible happened yesterday.
Me: What happened?
Travis: Jack took his life yesterday.
I couldn’t believe it. I was just playing tennis with him the day before. He seemed so happy with life and the future.
This one shook me up the most. It was my seventh friend that had committed suicide over the last few years. There were absolutely no signs or indications that anything was wrong in his life. Actually, in all seven cases, there was never anything that seemed out of place.
I’m sure there must have been many signs with all of them, but I never picked up on anything. That was the hardest thing to deal with. Not being able to prevent anything from happening.
If you’ve never lost a loved one to suicide, you are extremely lucky. It seems like more and more people have been affected by this nowadays.
The depression that sets in when you lose a loved one is incredibly difficult to overcome. But when this happens to seven of your loved ones, you question whether you should be living or not.
You feel you are not deserving of life. You feel, why should I go on? You forget all the good in life and concentrate on all the bad.
Your work suffers and you become a loner. With me, I’m a very good actor. I was always able to put a smile on and fake that everything was ok. After a while, I realized that was what my friends, that took their lives, were doing.
There was one day that changed my life and my thinking about my life on this earth. I was at my parents’ house and we were discussing suicide in general.
My mom made a point of all the living that are devastated when someone takes their life. It was something I had never thought of. Something so basic. But something I just didn’t think of. I was so focused on the person that lost their life.
I started thinking about my parents, brother and sister, nieces and all my friends. I would never want to do anything that would hurt any of them.
From that day on a few years ago, I became an extremely positive person. I started looking at the glass always full. I started giving EVERYONE the benefit of the doubt.
I totally fell in love with living and trying to be a giver as much as possible. Believe me, I still have my selfish moments. But, I am working hard daily on becoming the best Amit I can be.
We all have secrets and are going thru things. Many times no one has a clue what we are dealing with inside our minds.
Please think about that before getting upset at someone. Far easier said than done. But definitely possible.
I wrote this because I hope someone reads this that may be going thru a tough time. I want you to know that I am here for you. Whoever you are. You can call me 24/7 and I will do everything that I can to listen to you and try and come up with a game plan with you to make your life better.
My number is (305) 439-3031. Please save this number. I would love to help you.